Open Book
by Jeaniexyz
Summary: A one-shot drabble of what happens when Emma confronts Neal and August and needs something from Hook.


**So this is my first serious non fluffy story and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. I'm way more comfortable with the funny fluffy stuff. But Hook/Emma fans have the best theories and best thoughts on our 2 favorite characters and this was inspired by some of that plus what's onscreen. **

**Also this is more of an Emma drabble than purely Hook/Emma although the second half is the couple. This is what I imagine/want the August/Neal/Emma confrontation to go followed by Hook picking up the pieces! **

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"Emma, listen to me. I know I have no rights, none whatsoever but I'm asking you anyway."

She gave him a killing glare and pivoted to get as far away from him as possible. To halt her escape he grabbed her elbow. She whirled around and yanked her arm away forcefully.

"Don't touch me! Don't you dare touch me. Ever" she yelled.

Neal backed off and winced. He had never seen Emma in such a rage. Her eyes were cold, glittering with an indescribable bitterness that quite frankly scared him. And for the first time since he had come to Storybrook he came to the realization that he didn't know this Emma. She wasn't the bright eyed starry teen he had fallen in love with. This hardened, icy woman wasn't his Emma, not anymore. He didn't know her.

August came around on the other side to block off her escape route and for backup. He had a feeling Neal needed it and he owed these two, much more so than he could ever repay. Emma saw him out of the corner of her eye and snorted.

"Oh this just gets better and better. Tweedle dee and tweedle dum" she sneered.

"Stop, Emma. This isn't helping anyone. I know you're really mad right now…"

"Oh you have no idea."

"Can't you see? It isn't anyone's fault. Neal did what he had to do. The right thing."

"The right thing? Oh I get it, the right thing of course. St. Neal having me thrown in jail while he swanned off to live the good life. And then there's St. August, my guardian angel. Let's build you two a statue in front of town hall."

"You were heading down the wrong path! A lifetime of crime. Surely you could see that I had to straighten you out."

"By sending me to jail while I was pregnant?" she spat at him. "I was stealing to survive, not for the thrill of it. And I was going to leave it all behind. You never even tried to talk to me, to be a friend. You went behind my back and decided to play God with my life when you didn't know me!"

"You were the savior, I had a responsibility to see that you do your job. And if I had approached you? Would you have believed me? You didn't believe in magic Emma. You were so deep in denial, you couldn't even see my wooden leg."

" You didn't know that! Not back then! You expected me to believe in magic when I had never been touched by it my whole life? The one time I did, you and that asshole over there destroyed it." Emma twisted around to face Neal. "I thought our love was magic" she whispered brokenly, desperately trying to hold back the tears. She'll be damned if this man ever saw her so weak again. "But it wasn't love or magic was it? What a big fat joke. The product of true love, when for 28 years I've never experienced it, never seen it, never been warmed by it."

"I did love you! I still do" he stated with as much conviction as he could. Neal rubbed his eyes tiredly trying to stem his own tears. This woman in front of him sure knew how to plunge in the knife and twist it.

"Stop lying!" she screamed.

"I love you. I have for everyday of the past 11 years whether you believe it or not."

"Then how could you walk away from me so easily?" she cried out.

"It wasn't easy damn it! But I thought I was doing the right thing. You were the savior and…"

"Savior my ass" she spat. "I was a pawn in some crazy plan and you think putting a pretty sparkly title on it makes it better? Cause from where I'm sitting it bloody looks like I was cursed. At least the people here were living in ignorant bliss. For 28 years I thought there was something wrong inside of me that made me unlovable." She swiped her eyes with the back of her hand angrily.

"Why didn't you come to me with the truth? Why did you have to leave? Why couldn't we break the curse together? Why couldn't I have a say in my own life?" she asked in anguish.

Neither Neal or August had any answer to that. What had seemed so obvious and right 11 years ago suddenly got a lot murkier. August spoke up hesitantly, "Well it all seemed to have worked out now. The curse is broken, you found Henry and your parents and now Neal. You have the rest of your life Emma, to be surrounded by people who love you."

She laughed bitterly and walked away. They wouldn't ever get it. Not really. No one would. Everytime she looked at Henry, she felt a crushing guilt inside of her. She hadn't even looked at him after she gave birth. She had wanted to keep him so badly but she was afraid her weakness would ruin his life. A child shouldn't be used as a lifeline for the parent and that's what his little heartbeat was to her while she was in jail carrying him. After she had gotten out, she went to Tallahassee still foolishly dreaming of finding Neal so that they could go get their child together. It was two long years before she had given up hope irrevocably. It would have been monstrously cruel to rip a toddler by then bonded to his family instead of a newborn and then the things she had to do to survive as an ex-con had made their mark on her soul. Everytime she looked at her parents, her noble self-sacrificing honorable parents, she felt dirty, the shame of her past overwhelming. She wouldn't ever tell them, couldn't add to their guilt and couldn't handle it if they ever saw her as damaged. How ironic that the title bestowed on her, the one that had ruined her life, the one she hated with every fiber of her being she would now willingly embrace. Her parents and Henry saw her as the savior and were proud for it and that's all that mattered.

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"You know love, I'm quite attached to my leather pants and jacket. If you were to fall off that bridge you're sitting on so precariously, I don't know if I could risk ruining them to jump in and save you."

Emma took a swig from the bottle before turning to look at her intruder, the last person on the planet she wanted to see at the moment. "Go away Hook."

He of course ignored her and grabbed the bottle out of her hand before she could take another drink. Holding it up to his nose, "I don't recognize the smell what is this?" He took a careful sip and wrinkled his nose. "This is just unforgivable darling. Bad taste in men is understandable, but liquor too? Tsk tsk."

She gave him a dirty look before swiping her bottle back. "It's tequila and if you're just here to insult me then go away. I'm not really in the mood to play one of your games tonight."

"No games darling. This is a serious matter." He pulled a flask from his boot and shoved it in her hands, removing the tequila bottle at the same time. "Here, my private stash of rum. You should feel honored. Already I have wasted two flasks of rum on you to soothe your wounds and well, let's just say I would sell my first born for one of these."

Emma unscrewed the cap, tipped her head back and chugged the whole lot. Killian's eyes bugged out. Whoah, first impressive, second, no wonder she was drinking that dreadful stuff, the woman had no appreciation for savoring fine liquor.

Emma wiped her mouth off with the back of her hand and let loose a loud burp. She caught Hook's eyes and suddenly the both of them were laughing up a storm.

"Very graceful, princess."

She shoved him playfully only to lose her balance. He hooked both arms around her waist to steady her and caught her staring at him. Smirking, "You know you only had to ask if you wanted my arms wrapped around you." She laughed again, then sobering, twisted away from his probing eyes. His mouth and words were one of easy bantering but his eyes were piercing hers and she was too raw and wounded.

"Thanks, I needed the laugh, smug bastard."

"Anytime, love."

He kept his arms loosely around her and surprisingly she made comment or move to push him away.

Twisting her hands round and round together she finally turned to face him when she couldn't take the silence anymore.

"Killian?" she whispered quietly in the resounding darkness of the forest. "What do you see when you look at me?"

He looked at her swollen eyes and haunted look then dropped his eyes exaggeratingly to her chest and licked his lips. "Well love, right now, I see a sexy blonde temptress with the perfect pair of….."

She punched him in the shoulder then. "Forget it" she said angrily. Trying to inch away from him by scooting along the bridge, he halted her progress by tightening his arms and sighed. He knew exactly what she was asking, open book and all but that open book thing? Was a two way street to hell and he wasn't exactly sure he was comfortable with it going back his way. Ever since they had arrived in Storybrook they had managed a détente of sorts, characterized by a game of one upmanship and easy flirting. She was winning but who was counting? Not him. Then that little cockroach had arrived and he hadn't been able to get close to her for weeks until tonight. Oh he knew what was going on, it was to his advantage to keep apprised of the going ons of the town and even moreso with her. He instinctively knew that if he took this step, there would be no turning back. To tell her the truth, would reveal far more of himself than it would about her. Screw it, he thought and for the first time in about 300 years, he was unselfish.

He placed the rounded part of his hook under her chin and gently turned it towards him. "When I look at you, I see a tough and brave little lass. I see a purity of the soul that should be blazing in lightness but is covered by wounds of loneliness and the darkness of life. I see the broken little girl trying to hide her fears behind an abrasive front. I see the woman who desperately wants to be loved for herself. I see you, Emma Swan. I see the better part of me."


End file.
